found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
