I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
