dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
