I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
