I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
