yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
