no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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