You're completely useless in the revolution.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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