Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
