can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
