Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
