Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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