wat bout pragnant strippers??
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We had to coat check the pizza.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
