It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
time to smoke my breakfast
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
