Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
