she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
