The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
what day is it and did you see me today?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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