I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
