i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
