i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
