I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
