I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
