Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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