I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
