Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
