he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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