I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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