just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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