All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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