there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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