just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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