I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
