so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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