I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
