No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
and you fell through a lawn chair
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
