Kiss
Puke
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
