My liver just broke up with me...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
you never un-have a 4some
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
