just come out here and I will go home with you...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
