I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
