I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
