She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
