He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
