As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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