I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
