She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
