dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
