so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
