JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
