i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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