Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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