oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
