I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
